Sofitel Stephansdom, Vienna

When I bought my condo in Chicago last August, I tried explaining to my developer how much I HATE BEIGE. So many hotel rooms…seas of beige. I banned all beige from the construction site that was my soon-to-be home. I learned the hard way that stores don’t seem to stock white tile anymore…unless you want to pay a gazillion dollars for Egyptian or Italian marble. The contractors thought me and my beige ban were nutso, especially when I had 3200 lbs (yes) of white marble tile that I found on the Internet delivered by freight.  Seriously.

The Sofitel Stephansdom is not beige. Anything but. It’s oddly disconcerting. Particularly on a sunny day. And particularly if you’ve had a little too much red wine. Red wine + Sofitel Stephansdom white room = accident waiting to happen. (I believe they also have gray rooms and black rooms. Request those if you plan on drinking red wine.)

I wanted to, but I didn’t. No time, no time. What with my spa treatment and everything. (The bad part? When she told me that my dehydrated skin was beyond repair and would only get worse. !!! If I’m paying you 100 euros, you tell me you’re a miracle worker. That’s all I care about.)

I didn’t want to touch anything. Really.

The only burst of color–a set of Hermes bath products. They look lovely, but they left me smelling oddly muskily masculine for the next 24 hours until I reached the other side. Not recommended.

The Verdict: Lovely. Free wifi. Free non-alcoholic minibar. A bed and fluffy duvet you don’t want to leave. But beware the Hermes if you’re female.