The Crooked House
51 High Street
Windsor
SL4 1LR
Tel: 01753 857 534
Date of Last Visit: Sunday, May 6, 2007
The Victim: Dad
The Damage: Unknown! Dad paid.
The Background: I have never been to Windsor. So I took Dad. He was dubious. And it was raining. A poor combination.
Being myself, I had done by background research. And I knew where I wanted to eat. But it was raining. Did I mention that already? So Dad was having none of this walking around in wetness stuff. So we popped into the first place he saw–which was The Crooked House. Which I had read about online. I thought it would be a nice thing to do…tea and cakes, tea and crumpets, English tea, Americans in England…we were Fodors come to life!
But somehow, my father lost the plot. (Sorry Dad if you’re reading this.) I ordered the “Earl of Sandwich” tea for £12–it came with two quarters’ ham and two quarters’ salmon. Plus some scones and jam. And of course some tea. It arrived and my father was jealous–what was this little assortment that I had received? Why had he not known about it?
He had a chicken baguette. It looked very plain and boring.
His loss.
The Verdict: Cute. But if I were managing this place, here’s what I’d do:
1. Lose the Kenny G. It sucks.
2. Lose the huge plastic menus. They are tacky. Do something that seems fresh and daily.
3. Teach your service people something about tea.
4. Dim the lights. Add candles.
5. Hang up some nice stuff on the walls. Make the most of the building. If you live in a crooked house…
